"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him..." Psalm 37:
Waiting, delayed, stuck, dead end! those are the words that were being repeated in my head like a banner over and over again. Not too long ago I was in a season of waiting, I felt stuck and unable to move forward. I didn't understand why and I asked the Lord about it. Sometimes, I am afraid of asking Him for revelation because I know He will make me walk out whatever truth He reveals to me.
Nonetheless, there I was asking the Lord. He took me to a time in which I felt really vulnerable, I believe I was 3 or 4 years of age. My father had left for the US a few months prior and there I was sitting on the steps of this house, waiting for him to return. I sat there while everyone in the other room had a party. I felt lonely filled with so much anticipation. God reminded me how, because of that moment, I had chosen to keep waiting, waiting on people, opportunities and life. My whole life consisted of waiting in frustration, sadness and sometimes in anger. Everyone seemed to be moving on but me.
The beautiful thing about God is that He never leaves us there without an answer. He is not linear like us, he is cyclical moving in, out, back, forth and around time, because He is the creator of time. He showed me that just because I was waiting it did not mean I had to do it alone. I could choose to wait happily, I had the choice to go into the other room and celebrate with others while I waited.
So, what is the posture of my heart while I wait? am I angry because what I desire to have is taking too long to come? What kind of prayer am I praying while I wait? Those were also the questions I was faced to answer. It is never easy to wait while others seem to be moving on, while others are being promoted and you still have to work hard, while others are getting engaged or married and you're still waiting for the one, while ministry happens to some but not to you, or while waiting for reconciliation among all the brokenness. Waiting does not have to look this way, it does not need to fill us with dread, loneliness, desperation, sadness or anger. We have the power of choice, we can either sink in misery or be active participators while we wait. We get to choose joy, we get to pray bold prayers, serve others, and best of all we don't have to wait alone, we get to go into the other room and join in the fun with others!