Updated: Jun 25, 2019
11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. Ecclesiastes 3:11
Do you ever think about the seasons? how we can prepare for some and for others not so much? For example seasons of the heart are hard to see, detect, and prepare for. Motherhood is one of those seasons. When I first became a mother at the age of 21, I thought "well, one kid is enough" then my son came and then my second daughter and then my fourth! in the beginning motherhood seemed endless. I recall being that young mom who aspired to be a college graduate, working outside of the home, feeling the pressure and the stress to "be" someone.
In reality, God was preparing me for motherhood. Selfishness was being stripped away and priorities were changing. I found myself wrestling between working outside of home or staying at home with my kids, the idea of being at home, unseen, caring for children, cleaning and picking up after others was not appealing at all. I struggled with being a mom "could I do it" "is this it?" "I'm sure there is much more out there for me than just changing diapers" I thought, bitterly. Motherhood was something I did not want.
Thankfully, that season passed, and slowly the Lord began to unfold His great plan for me. I began to enjoy my phase, my season. The Lord exposed my heart and I did not like what I saw, it was full of fear, fear of the opinion of others, but most importantly it was filled with doubt, my kids were given to me as a gift and they certainly loved me but could I possibly reciprocate the same love? That feeling was drowning me. I thought I wasn't fit to be a mother. As with all seasons this one also came to an end, the doubts began to fade away, the inadequacy turned into prayers and fear changed into obedience.
Even though I still struggle with the voice of doubt and fear, these voices no longer dictate my seasons. The Lord has planted a new seed of hope in my heart. My hope for you is that you'd be encouraged, in your season. There is a time for everything and nothing will last forever and just as with all seasons "God has made everything beautiful for its own time..."