Updated: Mar 7, 2019
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. Matthew 7: 7-8
Ever since I became pregnant with my fourth baby there was one thing I looked forward to, breastfeeding. There is something about it that makes me feel empowered, sufficient, unique, something that no one else can do for my child. The sense of making a deep connection, through breastfeeding, with this new little person who just arrived in my life is amazing. I get to have her full attention, uninterrupted for a few minutes, something that might change in a few months.
Unfortunately, due to health issues I am not producing enough milk. Once I noticed my low supply, I began to worry; "how will I fed her?" "what if she doesn't like the formula?" and the most poignant and self centered question; "am I not enough?" I felt like a failure, I still do with all honestly, "what am I good for if I am not able to produce milk anymore?" I pulled myself together and asked for help.
Asking for help doesn't come easy to me, pride gets in the way, self sufficiency is ever so present, controlling attitude takes over me. In the midst of all those feelings and questions I was reminded of my past season. God had taught me that its ok to ask for help and it was time to put that lesson into practice. Many times we can go through a lesson and never put it to practice, we think we've learned something new but it is in the practice that new neural pathways are formed and our minds begin to be more Christlike.
Feeling vulnerable I asked a group of moms for advice and suggestions, and the response was so overwhelming. Some moms even gave me their very expensive formula to try with my baby, some suggested tips on how to increase milk supply, and others offered prayers and advice. I felt loved, these moms felt my worry, I could tell.
God covers us in our vulnerability, He wants us in community, He wants us to relate to others, to speak of His amazing work, to encourage us through the pain and struggles. Even though I'm still searching on finding a solution to my problem I know that God will pull me through, He has a whole community waiting to love on me and my family. #ask #seek #grace #help #reclaimimgmotherhood #empowered #breasfeeding #vulnerability #loved #enough